Notice who you feel like after a person leaves. That tells you more than how you felt while they were there.
STILLNESS
WHAT THIS MEANS
The state somebody leaves you in is better evidence than the time you spent together. Plenty of company is entertaining while it is happening and leaves you smaller afterwards: more critical, more anxious, less like yourself. The afterwards is easy to miss, because it turns up once the person has gone and feels like it belongs to you rather than to them.
Check in with yourself after seeing people this week and give the feeling one word. Look for a pattern across several occasions rather than judging one bad evening. Spend more hours with whoever leaves you recognisable.
A QUESTION TO SIT WITH
Which person leaves you more yourself than you were before?
MORE IN SOLITUDE & SELF-KNOWLEDGE
- Being misread online by strangers stings, but it doesn’t change the you that people offline actually know.
- Your daydreams aren’t a waste of time. They’re a rough sketch of what you want. Look at them more closely.
- The first month living alone shows you which habits were yours and which were just your family’s.
Free, with nothing to buy inside it.