Be curious about your own reactions instead of embarrassed by them. “Why did that bother me?” is a great question.

Embarrassment makes you look away from your own reaction; curiosity makes you look at it, and only one of those teaches you anything. A reaction that seems out of proportion is usually attached to something older, a time you were left out, a worry you have never said aloud. Asking why it stung is how you find the attachment.

Next time something small gets to you, give it one honest question before you move on. Not what is wrong with me, but what was that about. Say the answer in plain words in your head, even if it is unflattering. You are after information, not a verdict.