Watch how you talk about people who aren’t in the room. That’s a better mirror than the one in your bathroom.

How you speak about people who cannot hear you is the closest thing to an unguarded sample of your character. A mirror shows what you look like; this shows what you are like, because none of it is being performed for the person involved. It is also catching, since a group settles into whatever tone it allows. Noticing your own part matters more than judging anyone else’s.

Listen to yourself for one day, especially in easy moments, the walk home, the group chat, the slow part of a shift. When you catch yourself sharpening something for effect, stop the sentence. Say the version you would be fine with them overhearing.