When your plans get cancelled and you feel relieved, that’s data. Listen to it.

Relief is honest, and it arrives before you have time to be polite about it. Feeling lighter when something falls through usually means you agreed for a reason other than wanting it, which is worth knowing while it is fresh. It does not have to mean the people are wrong for you, since sometimes you were simply tired and said yes anyway.

Next time a plan dissolves and you exhale, name what the relief is about. The person, the place, the effort, the hour. If the same name keeps appearing, answer differently next time. And if you are just tired, say that instead of booking and hoping.