Notice when you were kind and nobody saw. That’s not bragging. That’s evidence of who you are.

Kindness nobody witnessed is the only kind with no other explanation. When there is an audience you can never fully rule the audience out, so the unobserved version is the cleanest evidence you have about yourself. Most people keep a detailed record of their failures and none at all of this. Noticing it is not vanity, it is correcting a lopsided set of books.

Keep a short list this week, a line each time: you let somebody in, you said nothing when you could have scored a point. Nobody else reads it. Read it yourself on a day when you are sure you are worse than you are.