The younger you did the best they could with what they knew. Stop holding them to what you know now.

You are judging an earlier version of yourself with information they never had. At thirteen, or last year, you were working from a smaller map and fewer skills, and the choices that look obvious now were not visible then. That is not an excuse, it is how time works. Holding somebody to a standard that did not exist yet is unfair, yourself included.

When the old memory arrives tonight, add the missing sentence: they did not know what I know now. Take whatever is actually useful from it and let the shame go, since shame teaches nothing. If an apology is genuinely owed, make it and move on.