Your first apartment, first dorm, first room alone is where you find out what you actually keep clean.

Living alone removes the nagging and the audience at once, and what is left is your actual standard. Some of what you thought was laziness was a response to being told; some of what you thought was tidiness was supervision. The result is specific rather than general, since most people care intensely about one or two things and do not mind the rest.

When you get there, watch for a fortnight before judging yourself. Notice the one thing you cannot stand being untidy and the three you can. Then build habits around what actually bothers you, and let the rest be a choice rather than a failure.