Alone is where you are. Lonely is how you feel. You can be one without the other.
STILLNESS
WHAT THIS MEANS
One is a location and the other is a feeling, and treating them as the same thing gets you the wrong medicine. You can sit in a full room and ache, or spend a Saturday by yourself and feel fine. Proximity does not cure the feeling, because the feeling wants being known rather than being near.
When it bites, ask which one is actually happening. If you are just by yourself, you may only need something to do with your hands. If you are lonely, send one message to one person who already knows you, which beats being in a crowd.
A QUESTION TO SIT WITH
When were you alone without feeling lonely at all?
MORE IN SOLITUDE & SELF-KNOWLEDGE
- Sitting with a hard feeling for five minutes instead of scrolling past it is a small act of courage.
- You think the whole cafeteria noticed you eating alone. Most of them were worried about their own table.
- “You’ve changed” can sting. Sometimes it’s an accusation. Sometimes it’s just someone noticing you grew.
Free, with nothing to buy inside it.