Notice whose boots you’re trying to fill. If they were never your size, you’re allowed to set them down.

Somebody else’s path can get assigned to you without anybody saying so out loud. A father’s trade, a sister’s sport, a family’s idea of what the oldest one does. Carrying it is usually done out of love rather than fear, which is why putting it down feels like betrayal.

Name whose shape you have been fitting, then say what you would pick if the question were open. You can admire somebody and still not want their life. Telling them that is a hard half-hour, and it is shorter than a decade of pretending.