How you apologize says a lot. “Sorry you feel that way” and “I was wrong” are two different people.
STILLNESS
WHAT THIS MEANS
One of those sentences hands the problem back to the other person and keeps your record clean. The other one costs something. That cost is the entire point of an apology. Without it you are managing the situation, and most people can tell the difference even when they cannot name it.
Think about the last time you said sorry and what shape it took. If it came out as an explanation, try the shorter version next time. Name the thing you did, say it was wrong, and stop talking before you start defending yourself.
A QUESTION TO SIT WITH
Does your apology admit fault or just acknowledge their feelings?
MORE IN SOLITUDE & SELF-KNOWLEDGE
- Spend a birthday morning alone for an hour before the texts start. Ask what you want this year to be about.
- People have stared into fires and thought things over for thousands of years. Sit by one and join them.
- How you spend your first hour off after a long week shows what you’re actually starving for.
Free, with nothing to buy inside it.