Don’t argue facts with someone who’s upset. Handle the feeling first, then the facts.

An upset person is not processing information, because the part of them that weighs evidence is busy. Correct them in that state and the correction becomes one more thing to be upset about, even when every word of it is right. Facts need somewhere to land, and feeling heard is what builds the surface.

Next time someone comes at you hot, resist the urge to clarify. Say the thing that shows you understood how it felt, then wait. The facts will still be available in five minutes, and by then there is somebody present to hear them.