Conflict often grows because both people are defending intentions instead of discussing impact.

One person is arguing about what they meant and the other about what happened to them, and both are correct within their own frame. Because the frames never touch, the conversation can go for an hour without either person feeling heard, and both leave more convinced they were misunderstood.

Separate the two explicitly. Acknowledge the impact first, without disputing it, and discuss the intention afterward if it still matters. Most of these arguments end quickly once someone stops defending and simply says that they see what it caused.