Conflict becomes easier when accusations become specific observations.

You never listen is a character verdict and there is no useful reply to it. You were on your phone while I was telling you about my day is an observation, and it can be discussed, confirmed, or corrected. The second gets somewhere and the first only gets defended.

Translate your complaints into what actually happened before you deliver them. Specific, recent, factual. It feels less satisfying to say and it is vastly more likely to produce the change you were hoping for.