The most productive sentence in some conflicts is “What did you hear me say?”

Most conflicts contain at least one large misunderstanding that nobody has detected. Asking what the other person heard, rather than repeating what you said, exposes it immediately and often ends the argument in a sentence.

It takes some humility because the answer will sometimes reveal that you said it badly. Ask anyway. The version in their head is the one they are reacting to, and you cannot address it until you know what it is.