Some arguments are really negotiations over whose feelings count more.

Underneath the surface topic about the dishes or the schedule, there is often a quieter contest about whose feelings get to set the terms. Whoever is more upset, more certain, or louder wins the right to have their state be the important one, and the actual issue never gets addressed.

Name it when you notice it. Say that you think you are both trying to be the one who is more wronged. It sounds blunt and it usually stops the escalation, because neither of you actually wanted that competition.