When someone gets loud, get curious. “What part bothers you most?” cools things faster than any comeback.

Anger is usually several complaints arriving at once, and the pile is what makes it loud. Asking which part matters most pulls something specific out of the general, and specifics are far calmer than accusations. It also signals that you are listening rather than loading. A good comeback wins the exchange and lengthens the fight.

When somebody comes at you heated, ask what is bothering them most about it, then be quiet and let them answer. Say it back in your own words before you reply. The real issue is often smaller than the volume suggested.