“What am I missing?” makes smart people want to help you.

Asking what you have overlooked does something arguing cannot: it invites the other person onto your side of the problem. They stop defending their position and start looking at yours, which is a far more useful conversation. It also tends to surface the objection they were too polite to raise. Admitting a gap works as an invitation rather than a weakness.

Use that question this week on somebody who knows more than you about something you are planning. Ask it after you have explained rather than before. Then stay quiet long enough for a real answer, because the useful part usually comes second.