Old letters prove people were exactly as confused as you are now. They figured it out. You will too, mostly.

Reading what people wrote at your age is oddly steadying. The handwriting is neat and the content is almost entirely uncertainty: not knowing what to do, worrying about money, wondering whether a particular person liked them. These are the same people who later looked permanently sure of everything, and they were making it up as they went.

If there are old letters or diaries in your family, ask to read them. If not, start one: a page a month about what you are unsure of. It will be the most reassuring thing you own in ten years.