Your parents were your age once, with the same fears and worse haircuts. Ask about it.

The gap between you and the adults in your house is narrower than it looks from either side. Whoever enforces the rules was once sixteen and anxious about being liked, bad at talking to anybody they fancied, and convinced that nobody understood them. All of that experience is sitting right there and hardly ever gets mentioned.

Ask about a specific year rather than their youth in general: what worried them at your exact age, who their friends were, what they got wrong. Look at the photographs while they talk. It is hard to stay at war with somebody once you have seen their worst haircut.