Ask your aunt or uncle what your parent was like as a kid. You’ll get stories your parent never told you.

Parents edit their own history, mostly to come out steadier than they were. Their brothers and sisters have no such motive, and they remember the version where your mother was reckless or your father was shy. Hearing it turns a parent into a person rather than a role.

Get an aunt, uncle or old family friend alone for ten minutes and ask one specific question about your parent at your age. Follow up on whatever makes them laugh.