Older hands shake and stories wander, but the person inside is all there. Stay for the whole story.

The body gets unreliable before the person does. Shaking hands and a story that loops back on itself are easy to read as someone fading, and that reading is usually wrong: whoever is telling it is as present as you are, watching to see whether you will stay. Most of what makes old age lonely is not pain. It is being treated as already gone.

Next time a relative starts a story you have heard, let it run to the end without checking your phone. Then ask one question about a detail. Being listened to properly takes twenty minutes and is worth more than you would guess.