Holidays get louder when the family’s big and quieter as it shrinks. Show up for the loud ones.

The crowding you find exhausting is the high point of something. A kitchen with too many people in it, three conversations at once, somebody’s kid yelling: that is what a family at full size sounds like, and the volume drops over the years without anyone deciding it should. Noticing that now is not morbid. It just changes how a crowded holiday feels while you stand in one.

Go to the next loud gathering even if you could skip it, and stay longer than you planned. Spend ten of those minutes sitting with the oldest person there. One afternoon is a small price for an hour you keep.