Barbecue is slow because it was never only about food. It’s an excuse to keep people together all afternoon.

The slowness is the function. Food that takes eight hours forces people to stay, talk, get bored and talk again, and the long middle is where the real conversations occur. Fast food feeds people and sends them home. A long cook builds a reason to be in one place without anybody needing a reason.

If you want time with people, pick an activity with a built-in wait: something slow on the grill, a drive, fishing, a long walk. Resist filling the gaps with a screen or a plan. The boredom in the middle is not a flaw in the afternoon; it is the part doing the work.