When someone forgives you, let it land. Bringing it up every week makes them carry it all over again.

GRATITUDE

WHAT THIS MEANS

Repeated apologising hands the work back to them. After somebody has forgiven you, returning to it every week looks like conscience and functions as a request: each time, they have to reassure you, which means managing your guilt on top of whatever happened in the first place. The debt is settled. Reopening it quietly unsettles it again.

If you have been forgiven, say thanks once and let the subject close, even while you still feel bad. Put the energy into the behaviour instead of the conversation. Carrying your own guilt quietly is part of what being forgiven costs.

A QUESTION TO SIT WITH

What have you been forgiven for and still apologize about?

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