Being friends with an ex while secretly hoping isn’t friendship. It’s waiting.

The hoping is what makes it something else. A friendship where one person is quietly running a longer plan is not a friendship, because every conversation is being read for signs and every kindness gets filed as progress. It also takes up the space where either of you might move on. The other person usually senses it without being able to name it.

Be honest with yourself about which one you are doing, even if you tell nobody else. If it is waiting, give it a break rather than a performance. Some distance for a while is not a punishment, and a real friendship can often come back later.