Anybody can be a friend during someone’s good year. Notice who stuck around through your bad one.

Good years are easy to be near. There is nothing to carry, the person is fun, and being around them reflects well on you. A bad year asks for something and gives very little back, so attendance during one is the only real measurement available. People sort themselves without needing to be tested on purpose.

Think about your own worst stretch and who was actually there. Not who said the right thing afterwards, who turned up during. Those are the people to put first when you have something to give, and they are usually not the loudest names on your phone.