Joy is not irresponsibility merely because it refuses to look productive.

There is a habit of judging activities by whether they produce something, and treating anything that does not as a kind of slacking. But joy is not stolen time. It is part of what keeps a person able to work, love, and stay steady, and its value does not depend on being convertible into output. Calling it irresponsible is a category error dressed up as discipline.

Catch the moment when you defend your own rest by pointing at how much it improves your performance. That defence concedes the wrong premise. Try letting something you enjoy be justified simply because you enjoyed it, and see if the guilt has anything real behind it.