Trust isn’t a feeling you hand someone. It’s a track record they build in front of you.

Feelings come fast and prove nothing. You can decide in one conversation that somebody is good, and all you have really done is register that they are easy to be around. What actually matters accumulates on the outside of you, in things they did when it would have been easier not to. Nobody can shortcut that, including people who want you to.

So stop asking yourself how much you trust somebody and start asking what they have done. Keep a short honest record: times they kept something quiet, times they showed up, times they did not. Give new people small chances rather than one large one.