Ask a friend how their mom is doing when you know she’s been sick. Remembering is a form of loyalty.

Remembering a detail is a form of work nobody sees you do. It means that when your friend told you something hard weeks ago, you did not just get through the conversation, you kept it. Asking later proves they were not a passing topic for you. For somebody carrying a worried household, that one question can be the only time all day anybody asks about it.

Write things down if your memory is bad; a note on your phone is fine. Then ask the follow-up a week later. Keep it simple, and let them give you a short answer if that is all they want to give.