Keep at least one friend who will tell you when you’re being the problem.

Most people around you will let you off. It is easier, it keeps the peace, and it costs them nothing, so you can go a long time without hearing the thing everyone else has noticed. A friend willing to be briefly unpopular with you is handing over information nobody else will.

Work out who that person is for you, and make it safe to be that person. When they say something hard, thank them before you argue, if you argue at all. Then be that friend for somebody else, privately, once this month.