Your feelings are real, but they’re not always accurate. Check them before you act on them.

Feelings are reliable information about your own state and unreliable information about the world. Feeling certain that somebody is annoyed with you is a real experience, and it can still be wrong about them. Treating the two as the same thing is how a quiet afternoon turns into an argument nobody else knew was happening.

When a strong feeling arrives, separate what you noticed from what you concluded. Say both: they did this, and I decided it meant that. Then look for one piece of evidence either way, or just ask the person.