When you’re losing an argument, notice if you start attacking the person instead of the point.

Shifting to the person is a reliable sign the argument has been lost and not yet conceded. It happens almost automatically, because the point has run out and the need to win has not, so the nearest available target becomes their character, their past, or their tone. It feels like strength and reads as surrender.

Treat the urge as a signal rather than an impulse. When you notice yourself reaching for something personal, say instead that you need to think about it, which is almost always true. You can come back tomorrow with a better point, or without one.