Calling yourself out before anyone else does takes the power out of their callout.

An accusation only has force if it is news. Say the thing about yourself first and there is nothing left to reveal, which collapses the whole move before it starts, and it also puts you in charge of the wording. Going second means defending. Going first means describing.

If you know something is about to come out, get there first, to the person who most needs to hear it. Plain sentence, no cushioning. The relief of not waiting is bigger than the awkwardness of saying it.