When people stop giving you feedback, it’s usually not because you got perfect.

REFLECTION

WHAT THIS MEANS

Feedback stops for a reason, and the flattering explanation is almost never the right one. More often people have learned that it costs them something to tell you things, through a defence, a sulk, or a long explanation, so they quietly stop and route around you instead. The quiet feels like approval and functions as distance.

If nobody has told you anything hard in a while, go and ask, specifically, from one person. Say what you are working on and ask what they would change. Then keep your face still and your answer short, which is how you get a second round.

A QUESTION TO SIT WITH

Who used to tell you hard things and has gone quiet?

MORE IN TRUTH, ACCOUNTABILITY & SELF-AWARENESS

Free, with nothing to buy inside it.