You don’t get to decide how your tone landed. You only get to decide what you do once you find out.

Tone is received, not sent. You can know exactly what you meant and still be wrong about what arrived, because the other person is working from the words, the timing, and whatever mood they were already in. Arguing about how you sounded is arguing about something you have no access to, and the part you do control starts after you hear it.

When someone says a message landed badly, skip the defence of what you intended. Ask what they heard, say the thing again in a better way, and move on.