When the coach says “you’re not ready,” ask “what would ready look like?” instead of “why not?”

Asking for a justification makes the other person defend a judgement, and defending tends to harden it. Asking for a description is easier to give and far more useful to receive, because it turns an opinion about you into a list of things that can be worked on. Same conversation, completely different output.

Have that exchange once this week with whoever is holding a door you want open. Ask for the picture, not the reasoning, and write down what they say. Then come back in a month having done two of the things on the list.