You can be your own lawyer or your own coach. Only one of them helps you improve.

A lawyer’s job is to make the strongest case that you did nothing wrong. A coach’s job is to find the thing you did wrong so you stop doing it. Both are on your side, which is why they are easy to confuse, but only one of them makes you better. The lawyer protects this week and costs you next season.

After the next thing that goes badly, notice which voice shows up first. If it is building a case, let it finish and then ask the coach question: what would I do differently tomorrow. Write the answer down, since the lawyer will be back.