Fair criticism feels like an attack for about a day. After that, it’s basically a to-do list.

The sting and the content arrive together, and for the first day the sting is louder. That is the window where people argue and decide the other person is against them. Wait it out and the same words usually turn practical: do this differently, learn that, stop the other thing. Nothing about the criticism changed, only how much of you was defending.

Give any real piece of feedback twenty-four hours before you respond to it beyond thank you. The next day, write it out as two or three tasks, which is what it was underneath. If it still reads as an attack after a week, then weigh it properly.