Ask the people who love you what you’re hard to be around for. Then don’t argue with the answer.

The people who have stayed have usually absorbed something without mentioning it, because mentioning it did not seem worth the trouble. Asking directly is a small gift to them and awkward for you, since you will probably hear something you half suspected. Hearing it without arguing is what makes them willing to answer again.

Ask one person who loves you, when nothing is wrong, what you are hardest to be around for. Say thank you and sit with it for a few days before you do anything. Then change one small thing they would actually notice.