The question when are you coming home assumes both people mean the same place.

Home is a word two people can say identically and mean differently. For one it is the house they grew up in, for the other it is the apartment they pay for, and the question lands as an invitation to one and a small correction to the other. Most family friction about visits is not really about travel or dates. It is about whose version of home the conversation quietly treats as the real one.

Listen for the assumption the next time someone asks when you are coming back, or the next time you ask it. You can answer the logistics and still name the other thing gently, saying where your life is now without making it a verdict on where you came from. Naming it once usually costs less than defending it every year.