A child’s first closed bedroom door can change the geography of a household.

The first time a child closes their door, the house changes shape. There is now a room in it the parents do not automatically enter, a boundary drawn by someone who used to have none. It is a normal and necessary development, and it also registers as a small loss, because a household that was continuous has just acquired an interior. Both things are happening at the same time.

If you are the parent, try to read it as growth rather than rejection, and knock rather than negotiate the principle. If you are the one who closed it, an occasional deliberate return to the shared rooms goes a long way. Privacy and connection can coexist, but usually only if someone keeps making the second one happen.