A forgotten embarrassment can still be remembered fondly by someone who admired your attempt.

Your worst moments were often other people’s warm ones. The performance you flinch at, the clumsy attempt, the thing you got wrong in front of everyone, has been kept by somebody as evidence that you were brave enough to try. Shame is almost always more vivid inside than out, and the outside view is not being generous, it is simply seeing something different.

If an old embarrassment still surfaces, consider asking someone who was there what they remember. The answer is often startlingly mild. And it is worth telling someone that you admired an attempt of theirs, because they are probably storing it as a failure.