Remembering an event together is also negotiating which details get to remain public.

Remembering together is partly an editorial meeting. Which details get said aloud, which get skipped, which get softened, all decided quickly and jointly in the moment, and what survives becomes the official version for everyone present. Nobody experiences it as negotiation, and that is exactly what is happening.

Notice, in a shared recollection, what nobody mentions. If a detail matters and keeps getting dropped, you can raise it once, quietly, outside the group. Public memory is easier to shape than to correct afterwards.