You can envy someone’s ease without knowing which part of their life you are seeing.

You see the ease and not the arrangement behind it. The person who seems unhurried may have help, money, an absence of certain obligations, or a great deal of private difficulty in a part of their life you cannot see. Envy works on the visible surface, which is the least informative part of anyone’s situation.

When you envy someone, try to name what specifically you want, the flexibility, the confidence, the money, rather than the general glow. Then ask what it would actually require. That question usually replaces envy with either a plan or a decision that you do not want it after all.