A name gives strangers a handle for a person whose inner life it cannot summarize.

A name is a handle for other people’s convenience. It lets strangers sort, address, and refer to you without knowing anything, and it carries associations, origins, and expectations you did not choose. What it cannot do is contain any of what you are actually like, which is why hearing your full name from someone who does not know you feels slightly odd.

Notice what you assume when you hear an unfamiliar name, and how quickly. That reflex is worth catching. And where you can, learn one specific thing about a person early, so the name stops doing all the work.