A teacher’s casual comparison can assign a child a rival they never chose.

An offhand comparison can install a rivalry that lasts years. A teacher mentions another child’s work in passing, and one student acquires a competitor they did not choose and a standard they did not set. The comment is forgotten by the adult within an hour and stays with the child indefinitely.

With children, praise the work rather than ranking the workers. If a comparison has been made about you or your child, naming it plainly usually takes some of its force. Small remarks by adults with authority are load-bearing in ways adults consistently underestimate.