A portrait can reveal the painter’s attention more clearly than the sitter’s character.

A portrait records how the painter looked more than who the sitter was. The choices about where to soften, what to emphasise, what to spend time on: these come from the person holding the brush, and they leave a clearer trace of that attention than of the face being studied. What you see is a record of looking.

The same is true of descriptions people give of each other. When someone tells you about a third person, you are learning at least as much about the speaker. Apply this to your own accounts too. What you consistently notice in others is a fairly reliable map of what you are attending to and why.