The option to forgive matters differently from an expectation that you must.

Being told you must forgive turns something that could have been yours into another demand placed on you. Forgiveness given freely can release a person; forgiveness required as a duty adds a second burden to the first, and it is usually requested for the comfort of onlookers rather than for the one who was hurt. The difference is between an open door and a push.

If you are carrying something, you are allowed to leave the question open for as long as you need, without deciding you never will. And if you are on the other side, offer without expectation. Asking someone to hurry their own healing so that things can feel settled is not a kindness, however gently it is phrased.