The difference between rescue and control can emerge only after the immediate danger has passed.

Helping in a crisis and taking charge of someone’s life look the same during the emergency. The difference shows up afterwards, in whether authority is handed back as the danger recedes, or quietly retained because it has become convenient and habitual. The test is the exit, not the entry.

If you have stepped in for someone, decide now what returning control will look like and say it out loud to them. Then look for the first opportunity to do it, slightly before you feel ready. And if someone has stepped in for you, it is fair to ask, kindly and early, what the plan is for stepping back.