You cannot keep planting thorns and blame the garden for never feeling safe.

What you plant is what the place becomes. If your interactions are consistently sharp, defensive, or scored, the environment around you will not feel safe, and then the lack of safety seems to confirm that the sharpness was necessary. The loop is self-sealing.

Without blaming yourself for everything, ask what you contribute to the atmosphere around you. Then change one habit of speech this week. Environments respond more quickly to that than most people expect.